This woman was paid real U.S. currency to write these words:

By staying in Hawaii, the president has sent the message that the situation really isn’t all that serious, that things can proceed just fine until he’s back. And isn’t it that kind of reasoning that emboldens our never-vacationing enemies into thinking Christmas Day is the perfect time for them to strike?

The president took a nap! Do terrorists take naps? No, they don’t! They are specially trained with advanced methods of sleep deprivation. While the president sleeps, America’s enemies are loading their underwear with explosive chemicals and accidentally torching their testicles. Is the president torching his testicles? We can’t have a torched testicle gap!

Perhaps this picture is a more adequate rejoinder.

Rock on, purty lady!

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