This cartoon would have appeared last week, but Real Life (TM) demanded my attention, so it now appears this week. Enjoy!
Like many people I know, I would classify myself among the neurodivergent. I have ADHD that went undiagnosed until well into my forties, and I have developed tools and habits to manage it. So I still feel new to the term and what “divergent” implies about a norm, a standard, that we call “neurotypical.” I think it’s easier to define ADHD or Autism — broad categories each containing a spectrum of individual experiences, behaviors and conditions — than it is define a neurotypical condition without referencing a neurodivergent one in the negative:
“I’m neurotypical.”
“How do you know?”
“I’m not depressed.”
Not very satisfying. But still we seem to “get” what the term means. I think that is because we live in a world designed to serve people with no — or at least the bare minimum of — disabilities. Or, really, our systems and institutions serve those who are wealthy or powerful enough to be able to disguise their challenges behind a personal assistant, a chauffeur, or an air of eccentricity. And like so many people who do well in a game made for them, such folks have a hard time understanding the struggles of those less privileged than they are. Or caring about it, making the mislabeling of autistic people as “lacking empathy” all the more cruelly ironic.
As they lift masking policies and force people back to the office or campus (or campus office), regardless of the risks posed to students, workers, their families and anyone else in a high risk category. But that’s a cartoon for another time.
Ugh.
I have no evidence that I am any kind of neurodivergent, outside of being diagnosed as “clinically hyperactive” as a child in the 70s, but outside of competent, I don’t think I’ve ever felt well rested, part of the world, or that the world is a part of me.
I DO feel competent, because I know in my head that I am, and am viewed as such because I’ve learned to acknowledge, admit, and ask for help when I realize I have been making mistakes, and trying to own them rather than attempt excuses (most times, but then again is it truly an “excuse” if you really are exhausted from putting in 60+ hours at a salaried job, trying to do both your new and former job, and somehow becoming a leader, when you didn’t want to in the first place?).
Of course, I intellectually know I am competent, but also secretly have quite a lot of imposter syndrome going on too.
Further I deeply despise public recognition I’ve earned. I have told my immediate supervisors (General, District, and Regional Managers) that I will quit on the spot if they force something like that on me.
I attended my Summa Cum Laude double disparate major graduation ceremonies (see? I KNOW I’m competent) [and got accidentally promot4ed to director of my facility’s department… very much against my will] only because my mom would be very sad not to see me accept my honors and participate in the ceremony. I would have rather had a day off. =Þ
Also, I continue to wear masks (with two of my three immediate supervisees) despite no one else except most of my staff wearing them.
I … don’t know why I am still typing this now.
The world being shaped in my own image is terrifying. I like being second in command, because competent, and despise being the top person because I don’t have a Miles to have my back.
Also competent because I keep getting accidentally promoted. Usually against my will.
I think we’ve seen that crushing and snorting Adderall can lead to the behavior exhibited in the penultimate panel. One test case springs to mind…